Cigarettes
by BatKate
Summary: Impulse gets a lesson in 21st century flirting techniques from this teammates, but it turns out he might not need as much help as they thought. Taking a nod from a certain NBC comedy for this drabble.


"So what you're saying," Bart looks around the room, "is I need to change who I am to get a girlfriend?"

A round of shocked "No's" come from four of the five teammates surrounding him.

"It's not about changing," Barbara explains.

"It's about … learning," Cassie adds.

"But … learning to change."

"No," they all say in unison again.

"You got it all wrong, hermano," Jaime tries. "It's more like …" But he can't quite finish the sentence.

"Oh good grief!" La'gaan throws up his hands, "Clear the crabs off the coral; I'll be the bad guy here." He turns his chair around to straddle it and gets in the speedster's face. "Yes Bart, you need to be someone else. You need to be someone who eventually gets a girlfriend. Who doesn't sneak up behind a girl he doesn't know and pretend to be Batman."

"But everyone likes Batman!" Bart pouts a little before turning to the Boy Wonder, "Rob, help me out here!"

"I'm pretty sure she thought you were mugging her," admits his friend, who's clearly embarrassed by this whole lesson the girls have set up right in the middle of the training room.

"Look, let's try a practice run," Barbara says with a clap of her hands, "All right, Cassie, you sit here, okay? And be a girl."

Cassie gives her a look as if to say, "When am I not a girl?" but gets into position with her book anyway.

"Bart," Barbara smiles encouragingly, "you take a run at her."

"Yeah hermano, let's see what you got."

Bart shrugs good naturally. "Okay." The rest of the room waits for him to zip over to Cassie on the workout bench and do a Wally impersonation. Instead, Bart takes a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut. When he opens them, they flash dark. He struts towards Wondergirl, who's still holding the paperback up to her face and trying not to be intimidated by his eyes on her.

"Hmm," Bart murmurs (almost growls), "What are you reading?"

"Pride and Prejudice?" The book title comes out as a squeak two octaves higher than Cassie's normal voice. Bart doesn't seem to notice as he slinks down beside her, his arm moving around her shoulder. The rest of the room seems to disappear as all attention is set on his commanding presence.

"So you're familiar with two sins," the boy continues, oozing the confidence of a man, "How about a third?"

In Cassie's rattled mind, she doesn't hear Barbara gasp and doesn't question how the cigarette case got in his hand. She's much more focused on his breath skimming her neck, the heat radiating from his body and engulfing her.

"I-I don't think we're allowed to smoke in here," she says nervously, a giggle almost edging out of her throat before it dies amid the intensity of his gaze.

"Well then you picked the wrong outfit." The words come out as a rumble. A sexy, potent rumble. "Didn't you?" he adds with a lick of his lips. She's only half aware of his hand on her chin guiding her toward him. Her eyes flutter closed as she anticipates the perfect moment of their lips—

"BART!"

Cassie snaps her head towards Barbara and the rest of the group, whose mouths are all wide open.

"Bart," Barbara repeats in a breathy gasp, "what—what are you doing?"

"Don Draper from Mad Men," Bart smiles, the speedster light back in his eyes, "Wally lets me watch his DVDs so I figure I'd try to talk all past-y like you guys. What'd you think?"

"Weird," La'gaan mutters.

"Awesome," Jaime exhales hard.

"I liked it!" Cassie pipes up with a dopey smile plastered on her face.

"Maybe," Barbara composes herself, "Maybe we should try a … subtler tactic." Before Bart can respond, a pouty Nightwing stomps into the room.

"Okay," Barbara says with a sigh, "What's got your tights in a twist?"

He continues his pout in silence before whimpering and fleeing the room, shouting, "I DON'T LOOK COOL IN SHORTS!"

* * *

This will only make sense if you're a fan of Community. Impulse is Batman now.


End file.
